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Breaking: Twitter takes a break for users to get their priorities right

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With Twitter just returning minutes ago, a shut down that has taken its obsessive users by surprise, while they wonder what else life holds for them in this big old world called earth.

While a significant boredom has occurred to an offline botton staff in the twitter office at Boston Massachussetts ( I don’t think  that is where the twitter office is), leaving the obsessive fans in a state of livelessness.

Those who were too obesseased were the first to notice the problem, but it show opened the eyes of some people to see that their cats have lice, and that their flowers pots were full of grasses.

With Twitter not given enough time for all these to be fixed by its fans before it returned,  I’m wondering why the head even rushed to get it back on. Could they head have been hacked?

Some people cleaned their toilet, became ” worker of the month “, all because they had no twitter to distract them. Some made babies,while  others just did some things not worth mentoning whenever you don’t have a Marley attire on.

So what did you do when twitter was down? You watched the #bigbrothernaija  housemates while they chilled. You cooked?  You worked out? You called your significant other or even your parents? Did you master your ‘man to hand relations’.

Chrissy Teigen a mother of two, and wife to John legend,,was one of the people who made the heartbrwaking discovery.

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Funnyreals

Clueless Femi Fani Kayode fights dirty with church of satan twitter handle

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You know how you just have beef with only one person and in the middle of roasting that person, someone you had forgotten you mentioned in the fight comes up and buys the fight from the other person and let’s you have it in a very genuine way? Well that’s what’s happening to Femi Fani Kayode who was simply calling out former NYPD cop he said was named Linda Fairstein, which was in relation with the central park men who weer said to have been wrongly convicted.

He said she is a racist, a witch and a member of the #churchofsatan. Now instead of simply hash tagging or even just writing out their name, he went ahead to @ at them, and got just what he was looking for. The rest is not history, because it is so funny to read the conversation between them. Take your time to read it below. Picture is from instablog..

 

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Funnyreals

Actor Alexx Ekubo explains the reason why he is yet to settle down.

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According to Nollywood actor a.k.a Johnny has care fully lisTed out his problems and hindrance when it comes to tieing the knot in Nigeria.

According to him, his idea and image of a wedding in Nigeria means inviting 500 guests,  and only 38 people make it to church, while 1078 make it to the wedding reception, bringing only 18 gifts, and 70 envelopes and consume a total of 1092 plates of meal.

Meanwhile 20 phones, 300 spoons, 10 cake knives, one photographer’s camera will be missing, cans of beer, bottles of wine and whisky will equally be gone, kidnap of two guests because girlfriends will be gone with strangers they just met, people will be looking for their boyfriends who have unofficially met new bae, gifts missing, fighting scenes, chaise broken, 5 tables and 3 curtain as well.

He posted the write up while adding the caption below.

from @alexxekubo – This is what is holding me from getting Married, i don’t want pple to loose their things & their loved ones…i Care too much😩😩😩 – #obyorijiblog

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BODY BODYFunny

An American family once asked me if I got my tribal marks from fighting lions – Prof Iyanda

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Prof Olukunle Iyanda is the President of the Nigerian Institute of Management and a former Rector of the Polytechnic of Ibadan. He shares some of his life’s experiences with Ademola Olonilua

How would you describe your early years in Ibadan?

I spent the first eight years of my life in a village in Ibadan called Akinlade in Ona Ara Local Government. It was a village without a road and school, so the school I attended while I was there was about a kilometre away. The school was St. Johns School and I went there for three years before I was transferred to St. Peters School, which was in Ibadan town.

You travelled to the United States for your master’s degree, how was the experience especially with your tribal marks?

As for my tribal marks, nobody took notice of it and I was hardly aware of the fact that I had tribal marks. I do not think anybody noticed until I went to Iowa. The United States Agency for International Development had a policy that all their students should be sent across the US in December to live with American families and interact. I was a guest of a family in Iowa and they were the first to ask me what the marks represented. The myth at the time was that Africans lived with lions, so they were asking me if I fought with lions to have the marks. I told them that it was a mark that was peculiar to my place of birth but the custom has since died. My father stopped marking his children’s cheeks from 1948, so those that were born after me did not have tribal marks.

For more visit>>>punchng.com – #obyorijiblog – #regrann

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FunnyHealthreals

Pregnancy prank: Justin Bieber reacts after getting called out for his choice of April Fools Prank.

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from @justinbieber – Wait omg is that a,,, APRIL FOOLS – #obyorijiblog

from @justinbieber – There’s always gonna be people offended, there’s also people who don’t take jokes very well, I am a prankster and it was APRIL FOOLS.

 

I didn’t at all mean to be insensitive to people who can’t have children. A lot of people I know, their first go to prank on April fools is telling their parents they are pregnant to get a big reaction. But I will apologize anyway and take responsibility and say sorry to people who were offended. I truly don’t want anyone to be hurt by a prank.. it’s like when I shoved cake in my little sisters face for her birthday expecting her to laugh but she cried.

 

You sometimes just don’t know what will hurt someone’s feelings not to compare pregnancy with cake in the face but it’s just to paint the picture of not knowing what will offend. Some might have laughed but some were offended .. I think With pranks u sometimes have to roll that dice. #prankster #dennisthemenace #sorry #truly – #obyorijiblog –

 

 

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Funnyreals

Savage: 50cent trademarks adamant debtor’s diss track song title, to stop her from making money off it.

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If you have been following 50 Cent on his social media, you would have noticed the consistent call out done on his page against a female colleague known as   Teairra Mari, who is said to have been owing him an amount that 50 has refused to let go.

The rapper and businessman was said to have taken his debtor to court for the  amount being owed to him. He also was in favour of the court judgement as the lady has been be the court to pay back the money.

 

But instead of the payment, she went ahead to make a diss track about 50,  with the title “I ain’t got it” which means that she didn’t have the money to pay him, or she has it, but not willing to pay. According to history, 50 has pulled this same stunt on his baby mama during a child support case. He filed a suspicious bankruptcy after he was asked to pay up. Now, it Seems the lady in question is trying to pay him back in his own coin, but he was a smarter human too.

50cent however responded savagely by trademarking the song title, so that the lady will be stopped from making money off that diss track. In the recent world of Internet and social media, 50cent is declared a bad ass for pulling such a savage stunt on the lady who had refused to pay up.

 

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FunnyHealthreals

Milkyway: Jessica Simpson shares what success means to her at this point of her life.

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The funny but true statement from the actress, who is happily going round the new mom circle for the third time, has gotten mothers who can relate with the milky way blessings.

She is said to have gotten a whole whopping 150ml of milked from her mummy gland, and felt the need to be grateful for the gift.

After welcoming her third child and second son only a month ago, after going through the intensity of pregnancy and various health challenges, she is happy to have this gift.

She has been incredibly open about her pregnancy challenges even when she posted.

Reposted from @jessicasimpson – After a week in the hospital for bronchitis (my fourth time in 2 months), I’m finally home!  Coughing with Birdie has been a crazy painful journey. I am slowly getting healthier every day. Baby girl was monitored and is doing amazing! 🙏🏼 I am on my way to healthy and counting down the days to see her sweet smile. Sending love and prayers to all the mothers who are going or have gone through this. OUCH – #obyorijiblog

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AdorableFunny

Miley Cyrus Hemsworth rejoins Twitter after her dramatic exit years back.

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Miley is about to grow her network, networth and fans, after realising that it was insignificant to leave twitter and go thrive on Instagram.

She has finally gone back to join the fun social media after leaving with a dramatic song years back to explain to her fans the essence of it.

If she thought she left to teach a moral lesson to her fans as of then, and ended up doing all those thing she did with her songs then, the whole aim was in fact unnecessary since she is not the Hannah Montana . She posted these pictures and videos to make the announcement with these caption that read:

Reposted from @mileycyrus – The rumors are true …. #ImBackOnTwitter @twitter #MILEYONTWITTER – #obyorijiblog

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Funnyreals

Confusing moment two Unforgiving Nigerian men destroyed eachother’s cars in traffic.

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They say even you see people going about their normal life, that they are not in anyway normal if only you can touch them in a way that will cause them to snap.

Imagine this two strangers being so mad at eachother on a first encounter, like they are the cause of their problems.

Right in  the middle of the road, this two didn’t consider who could be watching them take things you the next level, they started destroying each others cars with any weapon they can find. This happened in Lekki Epe expressway.

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FashionFunny

For #Internationalwomensday Miley Cyrus takes a jab at Donald Trump

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Miley Cyrus is highly in a good spirit for international women’s Day. The 26 year old wife to Liam Hemsworth is having yet another clear and direct jab at President Donald Trump for ever attempting to grab females by their Center of gravity.

The singer and actress posted on her insta story, right after wishing all the women of this world and internationalswomenday, she advised then to grab their p₩$$¥ before the president tries to.

Miley will always be Miley I tell you.

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Funnyreals

Funny: A non swimming thief in need of life guard after jumping into the lagoon as he snatches a phone

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When they said 99 days for the thief and one day for the owner, this was the man they meant.

You are a thief who can’t swim, yet you decide to work in the water body area, and decide to use the water as your mode of transportation.

Such craziness is only orchestrated by the big strong karma.

Reposted from @instablog9ja – Thief jumps into the lagoon after snatching phone from a passenger in Lagos traffic – #obyorijiblog – #regrann

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AdorableFunny

Newly singled Diddy (Single Puff) spends his stressless Valentine with the good ol’ CIROC

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Reposted from @diddy – #ad This is #SinglePuff checking in to wish everyone a Happy Valentines Day. I dropped a playlist for you all to enjoy. Available on @tidal now. Love you all ❤️ – #obyorijiblog – #regrann

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Funnypoliticsreals

Loyalty Check: funny moment President Buhari glances at wife’s vote to know who she voted for.

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Reposted from @instablog9ja – Pres #Buhari and Wife cast their votes in #Daura, Katsina State – #obyorijiblog – #regrann

Reposted from @ceolumineeofficial – Guess right what BABA want to figured out ? I av to surprise some1 with my little #50k TODAY… President MUHAMMADU BUHARI IS A COMEDIAN 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂 VOTE RIGHT👇
Trust people you love… But cross Check their loyalty every now and then…… ….
#votevotevote
#ariseocompatriots🎵🎶🎵 #nigerialcallobey🎤🎷🎶🎵
#nigerianismyfatherland
#nigerianismycontry – #obyorijiblog – #regrann

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FunnyrealsUncategorized

Weird: Two planes collide at Kenyan airport

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Two Kenya Airways planes collided Saturday at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport.

The Embraer planes collided while undergoing maintenance, Kenya Civil Aviation Authority Director-General, Gilbert Kibe, said. No injuries were reported.

Via: Instablog

My Opinion 

Some carelessness are a bit funny, but not really. How did that even happen? No body was watching both planes to prevent this from happening?

Unbelievable Dumb Accidents.  Only in Africa.

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Funny

Frustrated Man sues his lawyer parents for giving birth to him without his consent .

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Raphael Samuel, a 27-year-old Indian man, plans to sue his parents for giving birth to him without his consent.

The businessman told the BBC that it’s wrong to bring children into the world because they then have to put up with lifelong suffering.

Although Samuel understands that our consent can’t be sought before we are born, but insists that “it was not our decision to be born”.

So as we didn’t ask to be born, we should be paid for the rest of our lives to live, he argues.

In a statement, his mother, Kavita Karnad Samuel, who is a lawyer, explained her response to “the recent upheaval my son has created”.

“I must admire my son’s temerity to want to take his parents to court knowing both of us are lawyers. .

And if Raphael could come up with a rational explanation as to how we could have sought his consent to be born, I will accept my fault,” she said.

Mr Samuel’s belief is rooted in what’s called anti-natalism – a philosophy that argues that life is so full of misery that people should stop procreating immediately.

This, he says, would gradually phase out humanity from the Earth and that would also be so much better for the planet. “There’s no point to humanity. So many people are suffering. .

If humanity is extinct, Earth and animals would be happier. They’ll certainly be better off. Also no human will then suffer. Human existence is totally pointless.”

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AdorableFraudulentFunnyreals

Blac Chyna and kid Buu reportedly end their relationship after their Hawaii vacation fight.

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from @celebgossipjunkies – Blac Chyna’s Hawaiian holiday went to hell fast, after paramedics and cops showed up at her hotel because of a physical fight between Chyna and her new boyfriend … TMZ has learned.
We’re told at around 5 AM, Chyna and Kid Buu were in their hotel room at the Four Seasons in Honolulu when they got in a heated argument. We’re told Chyna accused Kid Buu of cheating, and just before 7 AM it turned violent

We’re told Chyna scratched Kid Buu, and our sources say he then slammed her against the wall several times and choked her. Someone called 911, and cops and paramedics arrived on scene. Chyna was not taken to the hospital and as far as we know no one was seriously hurt.

As for Kid Buu, he left the hotel and posted in Spanish … translation — “Don’t f**k with me, I’m a grown man.” He followed it up with a homophobic slur. TMZ .

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