Reason not to blame your parents when they advise you to stay back in an abusive marriage. | Oby Oriji Blog

Reason not to blame your parents when they advise you to stay back in an abusive marriage.


We have too many people going about their normal day to day activities, we see them in our daily lives these days, without a clue what they go through, until they open their mouth. But the reality of their lives is that they  are surprisingly remaining in an abusive marriage for the sake of what their friends, parents, and society will think about them, if they leave it. A lot of spouses will rather put their feeling and physical and mental well being behind them, because  they Want to please the people they know and don’t know, just to avoiding giving people the chance to talk about them and their marriages. We have had women who hide their husband’s infidelity,abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, for the sake of putting out a good image to their family and friends, and swallow their dirty linen. Some husbands have had to put up with their wives’ cheating ways, marine spirit issues, and immoral life for the sake of their kids and family.

When married kids tell their parents about the happenings in their marriages these days, the first thing that goes through their mind, is the right way to hide the issue as much as possible from the society and neighbours, so they don’t become a topic for mockery and ridiculing for the world. Parents want the world to see that their kids are doing well in their various lives choices,  so when they want to get a divorce from their partners or even a separation, the parents are quick to discourage them from doing that, even after they tell them what they go through in the behind closed doors,  physically mentally, health and even finance.

In our generation today, we have been fortunate enough to be given the chance to leave a marriage for our own good, with the support of family, friends,society and government, if that will guarantee their safety. Women are made to understand that they can have a life without a husband in it these days. Women these days are also made to understand their powers and abilities in the society, apart from being a Mrs, bearing and raising kids. Their powers are even stronger than that of the men, only when they belief in themselves.  Now this is the strength that mothers of the other generations, didn’t have. Their lives revolved around their husbands and kids. The strong ones extended it the markets and farms, and then their kitchen.

The reason for this reaction from parents from other generations, is the fact that they where made to always  work towards pleasing the society and making themselves look good in the eyes of the world. They told them that a good wife, is the one who can act as a bond, holding all her family problems, and preventing them from reaching the ears of the world, while they died in silence. This is what they know. They don’t know any better. The evil in the world today, is so intense that some women still get haunted down and killed when they succeed in leaving a toxic man.

So when next you take your marital problems to your parents or elderly relatives, and they tell you to hide it from the world, and remain in it, don’t blame them for it, because this is what they know. You know better, and you are the first hand recipient of the marital issues. You are the one to decide on your own, what is best for you and your life. Don’t wait for people to decide what’s best for your life. Make your own choices.

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Tags : #generation#obyorijiblog
Oby Oriji

The author Oby Oriji

I am a 5'7" tall extrovert Igbo girl with restless hands. An obsessed writer, and the reason we are here. Email :

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